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What are the Possible Consequences
of Divorce for Adults

This is page 5 of a 7 page document. The original report was developed by the Utah Commission on Marriage. Members of the commission are appointed by the State Governor. This impressive research has been made available to the pubic at large. Marriage and family therapists and counselors including fort myers marriage counselors, find this report as useful for any married couple to read. The footnote numbers have been retained. To review the source behind each one, go strongermarriage.org
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D. What are the possible consequences of divorce for religious involvement?

For many people who have strong ties to a personal faith or religious group, marriage often plays a central part in their personal worship. For them, marriage is not just a vow with their spouse, but also a covenant made with God. Because couples can feel like God is a part of their union, approving it and sanctifying it, when these marriages dissolve, feelings of spiritual failure, guilt, and a broken relationship with God sometimes arise.53 This is even stronger when individuals feel responsible for the breakup of a marital union.54 Divorcing individuals may therefore feel cut off from a dimension of their life that gave them access to sacred, spiritual feelings and support. Some will even go so far as to feel that they deserve to be cut off from God or their religious friends, feeling that they were not as good or loving or forgiving or patient as they should have been.55 This kind of sacred loss is linked to higher rates of depression.56 [Cape Coral marriage counselors deal with this kind of issue on a daily basis].

[Bonita Springs marriage counseling notes points out that the following section is particularly important from a religious perspective]. When one spouse feels that the other has purposefully violated sacred covenants, their marriage, which was once regarded as sacred, may now seem desecrated-something which was precious to them is now "dirty" or defiled-and this leads to even greater anger compared to other kinds of loss.57 Sometimes, those with strong religious convictions may feel that their spouse could have violated such a sacred thing only if he or she were under the influence of evil forces or not living according to God's expectations. This outlook can cause a parent to guard the children from the ex-spouse, and has potential for long-lasting conflict after the divorce is over.

In many cases, adults (and children) end up leaving or switching their religious group as a consequence of divorce.58 Some may feel embarrassment or resentment; others may feel that they are spiritual failures or outcasts. They may feel that they either deserve to be cut off or are not worthy to participate in worship services. Many families move to different neighborhoods or cities with a divorce, which may necessitate switching familiar congregations. But for many, religious beliefs and activities can be a powerful support to help families deal with the challenges they are facing. Counseling with trusted religious leaders and accepting their support during these difficult times can be very helpful. [Working with a estero marriage counselor who shares your religious faith can also be useful].
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If you live in SWFL, that is, in Cape Coral FL, Naples FL, Fort Myers FL, Estero FL, Bonita Springs FL, or the surrounding areas, Dr. Ken Newberger may also be of service. In addition to his Ph.D. in Conflict Analysis and Resolution, he also holds a Master's of Theology degree from Dallas Theological Seminary. Learn more, including his alternative approach to conventional marriage counseling at www.MarriageCounselingAlt.com


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