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What are the Possible Consequences
of Divorce for Adults

This is page 6 of a 7 page document. This report is published the Utah Commission on Marriage. This commission is comprised of marriage specialists appointed by the Governor of Utah. Their detailed work is available to the pubic. Psychologist, marriage counselor, pastors, and others including fort myers fl marriage counselors, have found this publication to be of high value. Although the footnote numbers have been retained, to access the actual source you will need to go to strongermarriage.org
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E. What are the possible consequences of divorce for romantic relationships?

Most who divorce hope to find a more satisfying relationship in the future. Exploring new romantic relationships after divorce can be both exciting and stressful. One important study that followed divorcing individuals for many years after their divorces found that a new romantic relationship after divorce often produced an increase in self-esteem, a decline in feelings of depression, and even decreased health complaints and visits to the doctor.59 These positive outcomes were found when the new relationships provided a sense of security and support and when there was real concern for each other.

However, this study also found that some divorced women and men (especially) used casual sex to find the closeness and intimacy that they were missing. These researchers observed that casual sex frequently ended up producing greater feelings of loneliness, unhappiness, and lower self-esteem. Moreover, these feelings sometimes led to substance abuse, which made problems worse. So new romantic relationships after divorce are a bit of a two-edged sword: healthy, caring relationships can be helpful, but relationships based on casual sex can make things worse. When dating again, it makes sense to be cautious and go slowly. [In this vein, marriage counseling naples fl recommends pre-marital counseling before jumping back into marriage].

In addition, we heard from several of the people we interviewed that moving on to another romantic relationship wasn't easy. [This is commonly found says ft myers marriage counseling]. Laura divorced her unfaithful husband but struggled to move on:

"So yeah, do you move on? You try. Does it get any easier? No. And it doesn't matter who comes in your life. I have a great boyfriend right now. . But [my marriage] was 12 long years. It's going to take a long time to get [past] that."

For Janet, trying to find a new love had left her exhausted:

"I have really not dated [in a long-term relationship] since [the divorce]. Because . when I finally extracted myself from that, I realized that, even though the circumstances were so different than my marriage, there were a lot of similarities. And as they say, the common denominator in all your failed relationships is you. ... I was exhausted from trying to make things work with people that it ultimately wasn't going to work with. ... And I sort of liken it to a love slot machine; you keep putting in hoping that it will pay out and you spend all of your time sitting in front of the slot machine and feeding it."
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If you need help with your marriage, Dr. Ken Newberger can help. Check out his alternative approach to traditional marriage counseling at www.MarriageCounselingAlt.com. He serves all of SWFL.


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